Hi Reader!

There was a time when I looked at the empty side of my bed and saw everything I did not have.

No husband.

No children.

No evidence that the life I had expected was coming together the way I thought it would.

I had reached 40, and marriage had not happened. Motherhood had not happened. The picture I carried of my future didn't match the life I was actually living.

And if I am honest, that space felt like evidence.

Evidence that something was missing.

Evidence that I was behind.

Maybe even evidence that God had withheld something good from me.

But Psalm 84:11 says, "No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly."

I had to wrestle with what I believed about God.

Was He really good only when He gave me the life I expected?

Or could I trust His goodness even when my life did not look the way I thought it would?

That did not mean I had to stop desiring marriage. It meant I had to stop treating marriage as the moment my real life would finally begin.

Sometimes we postpone life without realizing it.

We say:

"I will buy a home when I get married."

"I will take that trip when I have someone to go with."

"I will start planning seriously for my financial future when I know what my husband's finances look like."

But sometimes we don't postpone an area completely. We are underinvesting in it.

You may have somewhere to live, but you have never made it feel beautiful, comfortable, or truly yours because you assume you will create your real home when you get married.

You may pay your bills and save a little money, but you have not seriously considered investing, purchasing property, planning for retirement, or creating an estate plan because you expect marriage to change your financial future.

You may go out occasionally, but you have not intentionally created a life filled with meaningful experiences, friendships, travel, and joy because you believe those things will be more meaningful with a husband.

You may be doing what is necessary to maintain your life without fully investing in the life you have.

Underinvesting says, "I will take care of this for now, but I will give it my full attention when my real life begins."

But your life is not a waiting room for marriage.

This is your real life. Right now.

You are allowed to desire love and still permit yourself to live fully today.

I want to ask you something, and I really would like you to reply:

What is one thing you have postponed or underinvested in because you thought marriage would happen first?

You do not have to write a long explanation. Just tell me the first thing that came to your mind.

Lorraine